Doctor’s visit

Now I am sitting in a clinic waiting room. Of course, the one time I need to see my family doctor is the one time he’s out of town – that’s just the way works. So I’m waiting here in a clinic in Barrhaven to see any doctor.

The emergency doctor prescribed me oxycodone to deal with the back pain. From the second she wrote that word on the prescription, I’ve been able to see a bit into the works of narcotics. For instance, I’ve noticed that the small pharmacy has a notice explicitly noting that they never have any oxycodone on hand, and I now notice the sign by the check-in station stating that the docs here won’t prescribe it or any other narcotic.

I find it very interesting.

Hospital Visit

I am currently writing this post from the Queensway Hospital waiting room. I’ve been here way too often since I’ve moved to the area. This time though I did nothing to deserve it!

This month I decided to take a break from my kettlebell training. I’ve been purposely not exerting myself. So it came as a big surprise when I felt, on Monday evening, a dull yet sharp pain in my lower back, like a pinched nerve. I took it easy today, and things were looking up… until I tried to go to bed. Then things went downhill fast. After one measley cough I was left in a world of hurt. It took me more than five minutes of trying to get out of bed before I was able to shimmy myself to the bottom edge and stand up with excrutiating pain. It was then that I decided it wasn’t worth waiting till the morning to look into.

And that is why at twelve eighteen a.m, I am sitting here with more than a dozen suffering souls. What a great way to end a Tuesday.

Introspective Post – Insight 1

Over the past few months, I’ve gained some insight into myself, the way I work, the way I am.

I wanted to give a title to this period of insight, but no word I can think of accurately describes its aspects without introducing false qualtites. So I guess I will simply call it Insight 1. Actually, after writing this post, maybe I should call it the “Make it So” principle đŸ™‚

At first I was scared. I felt like I was doing nothing, like I was letting my life slip by. I felt caught up in a fast moving river. I don’t even know why I’m no longer caught up in that river. All I know is that I am no longer in it. I am on the banks observing the river now. This is what has inspired me to sit down and write these very words. 

Insight 1. We are only what we imagine ourselves to be. We are who we think we are. We can become what we want to be simply by taking steps to make it so. The question is not how do we do this, how do we become the person we want to be. The question is, what kind of a person do we want to become. This may seem frivolous and silly to think about, but try it. Sit down and think about who you want to be. What qualities make you this person? Do you display these qualities now? Would you take steps towards displaying these qualities more? Then make it so. Be the person you want to be. It’s as simple as that. Don’t make an excuse, don’t justify your current actions, don’t live in the past – simply decide what portion of yourself you will improve, think of a way, make a plan, to do this, and do it.

I’m linking to Captain Picard from Star Trek, if you haven’t noticed. The Captain of the USS Enterprise-D came to my mind when I was pondering how to write these words. I’m not here to preach about the wonders of Star Trek, but I did feel it was appropriate to recall this character. He was a man who made it so. He needed to be. He was the captain of a well staffed ship with children on it, encountering new species and new situations all the time. His decisions needed to be fast, as did compliance to these decisions by the crew. Sometimes they made it so in events where they were unsure of the outcome, or skeptical as to if the course of action was best.  Sometimes Picard himself doubted the decisions. But they were made.

How is this related to Insight 1? Well, we are not in such a tight, rigid chain of command, and yet in a sense we are. We must be the leaders and executioners of our desires. We must be Picard as well as Worf and Riker and Wesley and all the other crew. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we have many roles. It’s easy to be the brains of desires, but not to be the brawns, or to see ourselves as not being able to be the brawns. It’s easy to wish we were Person X with Quality Y, but when push comes to shove, sometimes we don’t make a plan, we don’t think about how to progress, we seem to accept that the situation is a mystical would be instead of realizing that we can break out of this, that we can make it so.

As with all knowledge, it is only when we are aware of it that we can reflect on it, reflect on ourselves, make any conclusions we see fit and make any changes to ourselves we desire to make.


Oh my!

I’m outside in my car, waiting for it to warm up. Today’s the coldest day so far this winter – minus 26 celsius, feels like -39 with the wind factored in. It sure is chilly, in fact it’s damn cold.

On days like this, I really have to wonder why I live here. I mean, it’s REALLY cold! Totally uncomfortable if not outright painful. Not fun at all.

So it’s almost halfway through January and here I am, making breakfast.

This month is not going the way I had hoped it would. Very little has been done around here. Heck, I haven’t even played any Rock Band lately. What’s up with that?

I guess I need to sit down and set some January goals.